


Saying Goodbye Is Hard

by Tearfeather



Series: Dominion [4]
Category: Dominion (TV)
Genre: Death, Grief/Mourning, Love, lonely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 22:39:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tearfeather/pseuds/Tearfeather
Summary: Michael's thoughts on Alex's passing.This is sort of part of my series I'm writing for Dominion. Can be read alone or part of my series.





	Saying Goodbye Is Hard

Saying good-bye wasn’t something I ever thought I was going to have to do. It has taken me a long time, too long, to be able to say this. I didn’t want to believe that you were truly gone. That was impossible. Improbable even. To anyone else, it wouldn’t have mattered. To you, it hurt more than I thought possible. We were supposed to see this through to the end together. Your death was not in the plan. 

It has taken me all this time to be able to talk about you. I have been able to think about you, but talking has been hard. I don’t’ want to share with others about you. We have a common ground, but it’s not the same. I want what we had back. I never thought that I was going to want something so simple back. I have taken much for granted in my life.

I remember all the good times. The pain and struggles we endured were nothing compared to how I feel now. We all needed you but now, I know just how much. I was a fool in so many ways. I think now on how I could have changed how I did things over our time together. Would it have helped? Everything happens for a reason. Everything has a purpose. I had mine and you had yours. If even one thing was different, would you have still turned out the same?

Having faith is something that I never questioned. Not until recently. I wouldn’t say I’m questioning it so much as I have doubts. I want to believe that everything will work out. That things will be better than they have been and all this is worth it. I need to understand that was supposed to happen. No one can answer that for me. Maybe someday, I will be able to know why this happened. 

For now, I will carry your memory within my heart. It is all I have left. I will do everything in my power to make your death mean something. It was not in vain. You were like my own. I never thought I could care so much about a person. I cared of course, for others over the years, but you, you were different. 

Alex, I loved you like my own son. I watched you grow in Vega. I helped guide you when Jeep left to try and figure out the meaning of the markings. I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you. I miss you every day. Someday, we will be able to speak again. I look forward to that time. Until then, I will keep your memory close and guide Samantha. She means everything to me. I love her. I can’t lose her. I will lose myself. Please, Alex watch over us.


End file.
